Woeful Spotlight: Co-editor, Kyle Cranston

One of your essays mentions a pirate cruise. What would your pirate name be, and what special pirate skills would you have? 
 

Four-eyed Kylie. My special skills would include bobbing for gold coins and chugging wine directly from the jug. I also think I'd make an excellent swashbuckler.

What are hand bangs? 

Hand bangs are what you get when you're a hairy beast who partially shaves the hair on his hands so you're sporting a Loyd Christmas hairdo near your pinkies.

One of your essays is about speed dating. What advice would you give someone who was going to a speed dating session for the first time? 
Don't! Skip it and go get yourself some nachos instead. Speed friending is okay though. I've actually met some good friends that way, and I'm not being sarcastic either.
  
If you were a professional psychic, what would your name be? 
Kyle the Radtastic - I will not rest until I've successfully brought the word "radical" back into everyday English vernacular.

Pimp yourself! Where can we find your work?

Besides Mug of Woe, You can help me earn pennies by checking out my online dating column: http://www.examiner.com/online-dating-27-in-boston/kyle-cranston. I have a blog I never seem to get around updating: http://nerdrodite.blogspot.com/. You can also stalk me on Twitter @nerdrodite.  

Woeful Spotlight: Co-Editor, Jenn Dlugos

One of your essays is about your attempt to hit up a costume party in a getup that would make Freddy Krueger queasy. What other costumes can we find in your closet?

Freddy has no grounds to be queasy, quite frankly, considering there is a Freddy costume in my closet.  One year I actually went as Freddy’s cat, with foot-long plastic razors on my gloves for claws.  Upside:  I won Most Creative Costume.  Downside:  I had absolutely no use of my hands for the evening.    

Define Muppet Eyes.

Muppet eyes occur when your pupils dilate to the size of Cookie Monster's during Girl Scout cookie season. Muppet eyes in humans are triggered by excessive stress, sadistic eye doctors, and almost drowning in a swan boat.

If you were to write a memoir, what would you title it?

Sense and Sensible Shoes

Who would you make president of your fan club?

My 88-year old grandfather. He's retired, so he has the time, and he’d probably do a good job as long as the board meetings aren’t scheduled during JAG or Wheel of Fortune. 

Where can we find more of your work?

My main site is http://www.dejennerate.com/, and you can follow my independent films at http://www.capricorn-pictures.com   You can also stalk me on Twitter @jenndlugos.   

Woeful Spotlight: Steve Albert

You're a stand-up comic.  What is the strangest show you've done? 

I actually used to be a regular on The Naked Show. Unfortunately, the host (Andy O'Feisch, good guy. Still get along with him) decided I was too alternative for a show where the performers are literally naked. Did that show about ten times. During one of the earlier shows I blanked out 7 minutes into a 10 minute set I and asked Andy if he was ready to come back because if you're not "I am sooo f@#ked." Easily one of the biggest laughs I've ever gotten.

What is your secret talent?

After ten years of working in psych hospitals and homeless shelters I'm able to keep a straight face while listening to cubicle drones whine about stupid shit.


You come home and find an extra-terrestrial on your porch.  What three questions would you ask him? 

1) Need a beer?
2) What do you mean you don't drink?
3) Do I LOOK like I want to join your cult?!

Promote yourself.  Where can our readers find more of you? 

Ratbas.com and I'm also Ratbas on FB, Youtube and Twitter