Woeful Spotlight: Stephen Masse

Stephen Masse's story in All Woe Great and Small proves that humans are not the most dominant species, but we're still ahead of the Easter Bunny.  

Your story about Junior and his Easter Bunny ended, shall we say, unfortunately. Do you have another favorite animal story you could share?   

I do have another favorite animal story. Last year I was visiting the White Mountains and I walked into a souvenir shop that had a sign on the entry door: "Talking Dog $50.00." I was intrigued, of course, wondering what sort of growly nonsense the owner must have spent hours teaching the poor dog. So I asked, "What's up with the talking dog?" The shop keeper said, "He's right out back, you can go meet him yourself."

So I went out and saw the dog resting on the grass. I approached him and said, "Hey there." The dog lifted his head and said, "Hi there yourself, baldy. What's shaking?"

I was stunned, and looked around to see if the owner was throwing his voice. Definitely not. "So you really are a talking dog," I said. 

"Oh yes. I used to work for the State Department," he said. "I've been a spy in Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Russia and China. I just sat in those meeting rooms and listened to everything, then afterwards I'd give my report. A few years of that, and they thought it might be time for me to find a mate, and have some puppies. Now the puppies are grown up, and I'm feeling my age. Once in awhile, I go to the airport and sniff luggage for drugs or weapons, but it's almost time to retire."

"Well, it's great to talk with you," I told him. I hurried back into the shop and said to the owner, "That is some dog you've got out there! I'm impressed -- actually, I'm amazed. Why in the world would you ever want to sell a dog like that for just fifty bucks?" 

And the owner said, "Because he's such a fucking liar." 

You are also a novelist.  If you could have lunch with any fictional character, who would it be and why? 

That is a question I could answer differently many times. The first fictional character that comes to mind is April McQueen in The Magic Journey, by John Nichols. April's character is drawn in this book so much like a biography that she comes to life as wild and sincere, passionate and lively as any woman I've known in real life. I am still surprised this book hasn't been made into a film. 

If an extra-terrestrial crash landed his spaceship on your porch, what are the first three questions you would ask it?  

The very first question would be, "Where's the Fed Ex package that was supposedly delivered the day after Christmas?"  The second question would be, "Do you need AAA?" And the third question would be, "This is a long way from Roswell, don't you guys have gps?" 

Promote yourself. Where else can we find more of your writing?    

Crime and suspense fans should go directly to amazon.com or barnesandnoble.com and order my novel, A Jolly Good Fellow (Good Harbor Press, 2008), which was winner of the Silver Medal in the 2008 Independent Publisher Book Awards, as well as Honorable Mention in the 2008 New England Book Festival for best books of the holiday season.

My latest book is a children's chapter book, The Taste of Snow (Good Harbor Press, 2012), which a few weeks ago was awarded Honorable Mention in the London Book Festival. Adults love it as much as children, and it's becoming a very popular read-aloud book (ages 8 - 14).   

Also you can find Short Circus (Good Harbor Press, 2010), a twelve-year-old boy's autobiographical sketch of a remarkable summer. Apparently grown men enjoy this book better than twelve-year-old boys, who are usually too busy playing video games to waste time reading novels.