Woeful Spotlight: Suzette Standring

You are required to move to a deserted island for one year.  You are allowed to take five items.  What do you take? 

No techno options, soooooo:

• A machete because something will need to be cut through, cut down or cut up.
• A fishing rod – I can make do on a steady diet of sushi.
• The Bible because it’s challenging, comforting, enlightening and LONG.
• Drinking water
• My husband, David, to cut, fish, build, and heft pallets of water while I read.

Crayola wants to create a crayon in honor of you.  What would they name the color?

Fission Confusion – Energy yellow with a touch of chaos.

If you could go on a road trip with any famous person (dead or alive), who would it be and where would you go? 

David Sedaris and I would travel to San Francisco (my hometown) and watch the lady spit pumpkin seeds onto the bus floor, eat at “The Hawaiian BBQ Café” where no barbecue has ever been offered and read haiku on the sidewalks of the Embarcadero.

Promote yourself – where can we find your writing, and what projects are you working on right now? 

Suzette Martinez Standring is syndicated with GateHouse News Service for her humor and religion columns. She is the award winning author of The Art of Column  Writing: Insider Secrets from Art Buchwald, Dave Barry, Arianna Huffington, Pete Hamill and Other Great Columnists. She teaches writing workshops nationally and is currently working on “Have Stepstool, Will Travel: Petite Women Speak of Stature,” a guide to navigating the world at armpit level written by women, 5’3” and under.