Woeful Spotlight: Jim Frazier

One of your Mug of Woe stories was about an altercation with two raccoon “thugs”.   Have you and the raccoon population since made amends, or is it still an estranged relationship? 
I would like to report that we are all friends, but alas I cannot. Also, don't hire a squirrel to mediate a feud with a Raccoon. The squirrel is the Raccoon's puppet. First they won custody of my deck and then they were awarded bathroom rights. Raccoons have terrible bathroom habits by the way. Plus they turned my cat against me. I came home one night to find her with dark circles painted around her eyes and eating out of the trash. She was hopped up on used coffee grounds. I finally decided to enter the little known Varmint Protection Program. The cat and I are both getting therapy. I think we're safe. But I have to admit, every time I lift the cover off of a trash barrel I wonder, is this it?

If there was a deity that handed out superpowers, what power would he/she give you? 
I would like the ability to make real cupcakes a health food. Now before you fitness nuts start sending recipes on whole grain cardboard cupcakes, I'm talking real cupcakes. Chocolate cupcakes with sugar frosting dripping down the sides. I think I could save the world with such a power.


If you could go on a road trip with any famous person (dead or alive), who would it be and where would you go?  
God. Anywhere. Because I really need to know if he has a sense of humor. I hope. I hope. I hope.


Mug of Woe is your first publication.  What other writing projects are you working on right now?  First, let me say thank you for allowing me to be a part of this awesome project. You have really opened up a new door for me. Second, I am struggling to get my priorities straight so that I can finish my sitcom pilot and submit it proudly and without hesitation. Also, the novel that I've dreamed about so many times has finally started to take shape.

Woeful Spotlight: Nicole Levesque

Other than writing, being struck by buses, and going out on bad dates, what are some of your other hobbies?

The vast majority of my time is spent fending off the romantic and often volatile advances from my homeless gentlemen suitors, refinishing furniture, and dreaming of a Crate and Barrel life.  I also enjoy baking, bicycling, old lady magazines, and an unhealthy amount of celebrity gossip.

If you could have one super power, what would you pick and why?

I would prefer to have any and all of the powers of Mary Poppins.  Her purse fits everything and more, with a snap of her fingers rooms clean themselves, she avoids excessive air fare fees with her handy umbrella, and, by her own and others admission, she is practically perfect in every way.

What can you tell us about your first short story? It sounds juicy!

Like many stories I have, it was born out of pain, embarrassment, and the realization that others find my particular humiliations to be amusing.  I think when we’re starting out we want to be like Zach Morris and Kelly Kapowski on Saved by the Bell, but often come out like Angela Chase and Jordan Catalano from My So-Called Life: awkward and faltering.  

What's your idea of a great date?

I’d have to say April 25^th, because it’s not too hot, not to cold, and all you need… kidding!  My idea of a great date would include conversation, cocktails, and a lot of laughs.

Woeful Spotlight: Dave Fox

Your Mug of Woe story is about you tackling an Irish sheep.  Have you ever had to perform wrestling moves on any other four-legged animals? 
No. Four-legged animals are for amateurs. I have since moved on to 17-legged animals. Also, I frequently have to wrestle with my own mind, but that's another story.
 
Tell us about an unfortunate travel experience you had. 
I don't believe in unfortunate travel experiences. To me, travel is all about collecting stories, and our most unpleasant travel experiences usually make for our best stories later. My most traumatic travel experience occurred when I was teaching English in Turkey in 1995. An evil salad inflicted me with a nasty intestinal parasite and landed me in a blood-stained hospital bed (not my own blood). This led to a series of mysterious secondary infections that went on for months. It was a horrible time in my life, but 10 years later, I wrote my first book, Getting Lost: Mishaps of an Accidental Nomad – a collection of humorous tales about things that have gone wrong in my international travels. Nothing had gone more wrong than this particular experience, and I knew I needed to write about it. Dredging up these traumatic memories was hard, and putting a humorous spin on them was even harder. It was the most challenging chapter to write, but it ended up being one of my favorites.

If a film studio was to do a movie on your life, what would it be titled? 
"Don't Try This at Home." (But, really? A film studio? I would prefer that a movie about my life be shot in a scruffy dive bar with an outdated cell phone camera.)

Where can our readers find more of Dave Fox? 
My website, davethefox.com, has lots of my humor columns, plus information about the online travel and humor writing classes I teach, my free e-mail newsletter, and my two books – Getting Lost (mentioned above), and Globejotting: How to Write Extraordinary Travel Journals (and still have time to enjoy your trip!) I also guide small-group creative writing / travel writing tours in Asia and Africa. Info for those ultra-fun writing adventures is available at GlobejotterTours.com.

Woeful Spotlight: Dale Rapppaneau

Your Mug of Woe tale is about a bike that had a rather unlucky history. Do you have a secret “lucky” item?
While biking around Phoenix, I always wore a green messenger bag. You can see it in my photo. I wore it so much that the sun bleached it nearly white. Even to this day, my equilibrium feels off when I'm not wearing it.


Do you have a secret talent?
I can voluntarily wiggle my ears, both simultaneously and singularly. It's what makes me so popular at parties. People are always saying, “Hey Dale, do that thing with your ears,” and I do it. It's great fun.


If you could be any animal, what would you be and why?
I would be a dragon, because there is no other correct answer to this question.

Promote yourself. What are your other creative endeavors?
I am a 23-year-old college student who works three jobs and maintains a full-time relationship. Due to time restrictions, I focus on realistic opportunities, such as short story collections and magazine submissions. My goal is to continue refining my writing style while pursuing an academic degree. Once college is complete, who knows?

Woeful Spotlight: Sue MacDonald

This week's spotlight is on contributor Sue MacDonald, and her badass dog Marigold  (mostly Marigold). 

Your bio claims you are occasionally mistaken for Lisa Kudrow.  If you had been written into the show Friends, what would your character be?  

I would be the inspiration for Phoebe's new song - "Crusty people live by the beach"

You have a dog named Marigold.  How did she get her name?

She came with it, but it fits. Like the flower, she looks pretty but smells funny.  Also, they both scare away Japanese beetles.

 If someone was to grant you superpowers, what would they be? 

I would be able to bend a person's mind to my will.  I would make people give me gifts and flowers and drive me anywhere I'd want. (This is a most excellent superpower for the freeways of SoCal.) Oh, and money.  People would give me money.

If someone was to grant Marigold superpowers, what would they be?

 She doesn't need superpowers to bend a person mind to her will.  She just shows them her teeth.  People are thrown by a dog named after a flower with really sharp teeth.  

Woeful Spotlight: Michelle Butler

Michelle was one of our first submissions to Mug of Woe,  therefore she is one of our first woeful spotlights!   Logic: It's the new black. 




Besides writing, what are some of your other hobbies?

Some of my other hobbies include learning the ancient art of Bellydance as well as collecting shoes and empty wine bottles. 

A little birdie told us that you have a special talent. Can you tell us a little about it?
I can talk to squirrels in German. Not really.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
In ten years I see myself living working in a European vineyard, aging like wine.

What do you miss about Boston?
Things I miss about Boston are: Family/friends, Salem in October, underlying sarcasm in conversation, H&M at Downtown Crossing, pale people, and New England Clam Chowdah.

Woeful Spotlight: Jesaka Long

This week's spotlight is Jesaka Long, a freelance writer you can visit at jesakalong.com. She also appears to have hair, which is a fairly recent event given her woeful haircut story in Mug of Woe. 


If you could be any animal, what would you be and why? If I could be any animal, I’d be a hairless cat. Perhaps you thought I’d relate more to a lion with its glorious mane? I love the thought of living life as a tiny diva—and never having to deal with hairballs.



So, we hear you collect rejection letters. What’s the best one you’ve ever gotten? Most of my rejection letters are form letters or a “no thanks” with a few lines about liking the piece, not the right time, send again type encouragement. I’d love something that says what the reader really thought, even if it’s a harsh “What were you thinking?” Well, that’s easier said than received. So, my favorite rejection letter was my first ever. Even though the editor declined the piece for her section, she actually read it. I knocked over my chair running to tell my partner that someone had read my writing.


What do you miss most about being a kid? My paternal grandparents (Mimi and Papa) raised me and many of my childhood summers in the Texas Plains were magical, filled with hamburgers on the grill and a backyard full of water logged kids gorging on homemade ice cream and watermelon, competing to see who could spit their seeds the farthest. I miss those carefree, lazy days when the biggest issues were calling Time & Temperature to see if it was warm enough to swim in our stock tank (no cows, just Papa’s innovative swimming pool) and fighting with my brother, cousins and friends over which TV shows we’d watch. I hated Little House on the Prairie so much I lied to a friend’s mother, claiming my grandmother wouldn’t let me watch it. 


Besides writing and trying new hairstyles, what is another special talent of yours? I am a mad baker and maker of irresistible homemade ice cream. We’re talking fudge, cookies, banana bread, pecan pies and decadent ice cream like blueberry cheesecake and chocolate-peanut butter. It’s my grandmother’s fault; that little lady cursed me. First, Mimi told me to learn typing, and then she wanted to teach me how to cook. I refused her cooking lessons (I didn’t want to learn “women’s work”) only to discover in my late twenties that she’d “gifted” me with her baking and ice cream making talents. My only rejoinder: telling true tales about her. You’ll find my Mimi again in an essay about my dad in the forthcoming June 2011 anthology Dead Dads Club edited by Mary Burt-Godwin and in a memoir, should it ever see the light of a bookstore or e-reader. (I haven’t started collecting those rejection letters yet; I need to finish it first.)